Heart-break, rejection, getting fired, making dumb choices … broken totally, but still sincere in my heart to love God, but unable to justify my actions with what I felt in my heart.
Years later, Mark came along, and I was praying about him. In a very broken state. And guess who pings me? Zack Cherian, worship pastor of Cornerstone Church, San Antonio, Texas. Again, what timing!
Poured out my grievances, and told him about Mark. He just told me one thing – to hear God’s voice. Fast and pray, if you have to, but hear God’s voice on this one. That was the only thing that mattered. He counseled me and I still remember, the tone of his voice – so strong, and very serious – I was to seek God’s will and nothing less. Divine counsel. Divine timing.
Few years down the line, married to Mark, I saw him at AG church. Yes, I was in the ‘AG-people’ group now. I almost ran to meet him, and introduced Mark. He later told me how happy he was with my marriage, and how Mark was someone he also would have picked for me!!
This time, the encounter was different. He was to preach in the church. As I sat there, in the first few rows, I went mad. If I thought that Zack-the-worship-leader was anointed, what was this then! This was Zack, Pastor, Reverend Zack Cherian from Zack Cherian International Ministries. Not talking about the title here. The word he preached wreaked havoc with my brain, with everything I ever learnt and was taught, and somewhere something inside my heart resonated with every word he said.
What is this Grace? I thought I knew it. By nature, I always thought I was a grace person, never believed in condemning people, always believed in God’s unconditional love, which saved me and kept me through my hard times. But there was something missing, I always felt, and this was it!
I wanted everything he had and spoke about. He made some bold statements during his sermon, without explaining much, and those stuck with me. For example, when we pray – ‘let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven’ – I still remember the way he said it, “As it is in heaven? Last time I checked, there is no sickness in heaven” and I was like “True” but oh so not true. I actually meant, so unbelievable that I cannot believe it!
I heard him couple of times, and every self-righteous bone in me thought I knew these things, but truth is I never had a revelation of the grace of God. And this revelation was going to transform my life ..it was the beginning of an encounter with a new Jesus, I never knew.
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He pulled a ‘Zack’ again!