I remember attending weddings of girls younger than I, and wanting to literally grab some chicken and slip away to some known comfi friends, just to avoid irritating aunts (more than uncles) pestering me with “So when is your turn? Tumhara number kab aayenga?”
A much-heard comment from the much-concerned married folks is that God might be wanting to teach the singles some valuable lessons, and that’s why the wait. I guess they cook that up because even they have no real answers.
What kind of a God will seriously want me to learn ‘single lessons’ before I pass the test to be married? I hated my school teachers for judging my understanding of the subject based on the marks I got – much less people for judging my learning aptitude when I was single. There are so many getting married early, without time to even think or ever experience the singledom.
I hate it when God is misrepresented. Jesus is not a bully, nor is he a strict school master or even your controlling boss, whom you love to hate. He can turn anything bad that happens in our lives into good, and can certainly help us learn from our experiences. That does not, in any way mean that he “causes” the delay just because he wants to detain us until we score an 80% first class in Single-Subject (topics include Contentment, Character-development, Self-Control, Ideal Prayer for Ideal Partner, etc.) He is not expecting you to perform to earn your blessing.
Please, there are married couples too, who haven’t learnt much, though they tied the knot much much earlier. I think we married folks must stop assuming things about singles. Stop assuming that they still need to learn from the school of hard-knocks. Stop assuming that they haven’t already learnt from their previous relationships.
if there is anything that I would tell the singles to “do” is to “believe.”
Believe that it is God’s will for you to get married, and be open to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He loves you more than you love yourself, and he wants to see your dreams come true.
Abraham was called the father of faith not because he was ready to sacrifice Isaac, but because he believed without wavering, that what God promised, he will bring to pass. Abraham believed and it was credited to him as righteousness. What did he believe? That God can perform what he promised – give him a son, Isaac. How could he operate in such faith – because faith operates through love.
“He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us ALL things” Rom 8:32
Everything starts here – “Does God love me enough to bless ME?”
Yes, he does, and guess what – he wants to give it to you FREELY! You don’t have to beat yourself up or work for it. You don’t work for a gift – you just receive it freely. And don’t try to logic-out ‘why the delay’ – that will only cause anxiety, robbing your joy. Have faith in His love and be led by the Spirit.
Few days from now, I’ll be launching a ministry for Singles called Transit 218 (Gen 2:18). A place where singles can just hangout together and celebrate their journey. Something I wish was there when I was single!
If you are single, I want to welcome you to Transit 218. This is one place where you can breathe, and where no one will ask you “When are you getting married?”