My husband is not my sister!

Finished my bath, and sat in front of the wardrobe, gaping at all my clothes – What to wear?

Oh was it an important occasion? No. Just heading to office and then ghar ka shopping.

I kept imagining how I would look in different dresses – kurta, short kurta, tight kurta, not-so-tight but slim-trim-looking kurta, formal shirt, lose formal shirt, full-hands formal and half-hands formal; jeans and t-shirt, jeans and t-shirt that makes me look fat; full-hands assisting-sun-screen tops, outfits-suiting-AC, yellow top with no matching earrings, outfits hiding my fat, outfits not fitting any more..  my thoughts were all over the place!

I asked my husband, “Love, what should I wear?”

“Anything, sweetheart. Anything comfortable.”

“Ya .. OK. See if this kurta and jeans are fine”

“Ya, wear whatever you want.”

And there I go again … thinking .. Why did he ever say whatever you want – that’s exactly what I do not know.

He finished dressing up, all set to go, assuming I’m ready in the kurta, but I’m still sitting and staring!

“We’re getting late sweetheart,” he says oh so tenderly. I knew I had to take advantage of the tenderness. So I jumped up, and gave him options to choose for me:

“Love, I don’t like that kurta. Shall I wear that Sunday ka salwar?”

“Ya, your wish love.”

No not again. Not those words -“your wish” – it makes it more hard.

Finally, he arrived at the scene, and in his tender authoritative tone, he asked me to pick from one of the 10 shirts I recently got pressed, but didn’t want to wear them. I picked it, and draped it and walked out.. still disappointed.

Why did he not weigh my options with me?

“Since there is AC in that office, and in the mall – wear this and carry a jacket, just in case.”

“No, don’t wear that Sunday ka salwaar – already wore it for the whole day on Sunday. Throw it for washing.”

“This one is good. Makes you slim and has formal touch too.”

“Don’t leave your hair completely loose in the office. Do it at the shopping. Carry your crunchy to put up the hair.”

“Where are your earrings ?”

He did not weigh the options, because my sister would do that.

My husband is not my sister. He is not my girlfriend. He is a MAN who  is wondering why I can’t pick from the washed and ironed clothes, why I can’t make it fast and why I’m keeping a confused face over such a petty thing as dressing up, and most of all – this one – Why am I sitting in front of a cupboard full of clothes, 2 suitcases with half-clothes, and complaining about having no clothes?


  1. Good one Joy. I guess its a art that all husbands have to learn on how to get his wife dressed.

    To start with,
    – they should voluntarily clean their wardrobes to know how many dresses are there, which she hasn’t worn.
    – Segregate them in the order of lately worn and recently worn. (But dont tell the lady what is your intension; let her feel that her Hubby is sweet in doing this nobel job)
    – While segregating, its always good for the Husband to make some positive comments about her dresses. Such as:
    > Honey, you have such good collection of dresses.
    > Honey, this is such a pretty dress, I would love to see you in this dress sometime.
    > Wow, do you remember this dress and what happen the last time you wore this dress.. 🙂 Why don’t you wear it in a week’s time, may be the same could work again. (say this in a naughty tone – depending on how her mood is at that time. If there is no incidence attached to that dress, please don’t make up one – else you will be in trouble. Or this is an unpleasant memory attached, then please dont mention about it 🙂 )
    > This is one time, that you can tell her subtly – some dresses, that she can give away, coz you never liked her wearing them.
    > Do not ever mention – that she should buy one of the similar dresses that her Sister, Best Friend or any other common friends have. (Women don’t like the same kind of clothes that others already have; they like their collect to be unique, amongst their group of people)
    – Once your done segregating, just mention to her, that she is so beautiful and hence all of these dresses look good on her, else they are just a piece of cloth that just cover any body. Or That the dress has found its value, only after she has worn it. (Say this statement sweetly)
    – Its always good to tell her, what colors look good on her (please ensure you include their colors along with the one’s you wish for them to wear)
    – Once you do such activities; it will help you double fold.
    1 – You become a sweetheart who loves her so much, that you took time to clean her wardrobe.
    2 – You will have the ability to tell her what she can wear, when she provides you with options from her list of dresses – to select from.

    This is very important – Please note: If you wish to do the above activity,
    – It would be taken for-granted that you, will do such sweet deeds on regular intervals.
    – If you fail to do so, this incident will prevail as context in many conversations which will make you think – why you cleaned her wardrobe in the first place 🙂

    Over all of this, Men should always remember, that Women want their husbands to be part of their every small worlds; be is dress selection, shoes, nail polish, hair style, small prayer while eating and to the extent of feeding them a few quick bites from what you’re eating, too.

    So please make an effort to understand them more than, you expecting them to be like you.

    Joy I am sorry, for this huge reply – but just wanted to drop in some notes for the men as well.

    Thanks for sharing this blog, I love reading your mind on this blog 🙂

    Aaron Nelson

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