(I am nervous – finally – have that tensed- tingy thing in the stomach – the one I always had just before entering the exam hall, in my childhood. But Preethi just messaged me – Joy, don’t think of it as an exam, but instead this is the time before your Madhuri Dixit dance.. that makes me feel much better.)
We had the wedding rehearsal today at church – both our families were present, with our dear pastor Younus, who was so much fun, as he always is.
I had such mixed feelings. As I was holding pappa’s arm, and waiting at the door, for my turn to walk with him – though it was just a rehearsal, I could feel that heaviness in my heart that my father is actually giving me away.
And when the kanya daan-kinda thing happened – where my dad places my right hand into Mark’s, and from then on, he takes me ahead, and my parents sit down – I was just concentrating on not-crying. Nobody can understand except a girl whose been there, I guess.
The best part was the vows! I was feeling so shy to look at Mark and say it, and what makes it even more weird is that it is just a rehearsal, so you are actually acting out everything. And I was confused – whether I should allow myself to get into the mood, or stay away from the emotion, and just remember what needs to be done at rehearsal.
However, we both were just laughing throughout, and thanks to groomsmen Philip and Shane – we kept exchanging smiles and comments. And all the time, pastor had to tell me – Joy look at him , into his eyes, and say it. Ha ha.
Veena and Preethima were around me – all the time – Preethima helping me with the bouquet – giving it, taking it back, etcetera. Both were just behind me and around me – just like they were there for me in real – from the time they stepped into my life. Preethima, as you all know by now, is like my mirror and my secret-keeper – like a diary. And Veena – from the time I met her, I was blown away by her BIG heart, and simple, down-to-earth attitude. I just love love love humble people, and Veena is one of those. She’s always stood by Mark and me, and infact is more close to Mark than I am. He is always bullying her, and I just enjoy looking at both of them. Then we three get together, and take Preethi’s trip. What lovely times we have had together. They stuck by me during the toughest years of my life – and I will always be indebted to them for it. I can do nothing to pay them back.
After the rehearsal, I had to leave with Preethi to get my gown, and we stopped by at Coffee Day – cos I was famished, and we had some time. Veena, Preethi, Mark, Shane and me. We had a wonderful time.
Somehow, as we drove to the tailor, I felt like old times – how we four – Mark, Veena, Preethi, me ( and sometimes Elvis), would just meet for coffee, so often, and Mark and me would get back home, to different homes, walk different ways. Then go home, call each other, again talk, and again call before sleeping to say goodnight.
Today, out of habit, I felt that way, as if its another regular day – we had coffee with friends, and now we both are going back home. I can’t believe that after tomorrow, we will both go together, to the same home, or to wherever, but we no longer will be just dating or courting … we will be one, we will be married, we will live together, the same home, go home together from tomorrow onwards.. we will not be Mark and Joy but
Mr and Mrs. Mark Kuldeep Singh Chouhan
and I will be Shruthi Joy Chouhan .. Oh .. Mrs. Shruthi Joy Chouhan.
(Please wait for tomorrow’s final post – pray for me, and watch the wedding live on http://www.joynmark.com)