Sneaked time out to meet Mark and check out furniture for our new house. First, we tried Bantia, and though the ladies on the sofa-ads promoted it a hell lot, it did not match our taste, and most importantly, our budget.
So we came back to avar very own Nampally and in Shalimar Furniture, scouted around for double cot, plus side tables and dressing table. The only difference between a good showroom and these kind of showrooms is that they have nothing to show off except the furniture. Even the lights are turned on as and when we walk past each row of cots piled up one on top of the other.
We saw almost the same pieces, that we found in the big AC-showrooms, but at a much much lesser price. But at a risk – of falling down the stairs – which were a little shaky and scary. At every step, I kept thinking my leg might just slip away into the huge gaps. Under your feet, you can see people walking!
If that was scary, wait till you hear about the first floor. Even Mark was a little scared here – cos the whole floor itself, in the inside section, was shaky and was vibrating. There are gaps in the floor itself! But the maal was good. Now don’t worry, when and if you ever visit my home, you can confidently sit on the furniture – they won’t have any holes or you won’t cave in to the sofas.
We got a good deal, and part of this purchase was funded by my aunt Sweety.
We are living in an age where the mattresses are as expensive as the cots. I never knew it. We just paid about 2-3k lesser for the mattress. And I bargained very well, thanks to the exposure I had shopping with my mom in Begum Bazaar. Mark kept looking at me for bargaining because he hates to bargain and is not the types. After I brought down the price by 4ooo rs, I realised I could have brought it down by even 5000. Kya kare Indian consumer is like this only.
Mark was so quick to arrange transport and take it right to our house! Our first piece of furniture! Yeh! Now I can feel the excitement building up. Now I’m beginning to realise that I’m truly building a new home. Truly, nothing is moved until it is really moved.
You can’t claim to move in to your new house, if all your stuff, though piled up, is still lying in your parents’ house. Nothing is done until it is done.
I remember this was the wise counsel given to me when I decided to move past my past. If you want to let it go, you have to sometimes, physically, literally take out everything that reminds you or holds you back to your old memories. Really dude, no place for new wine in old wineskins. You cannot pour old wine into new wineskins, for ..”If he does, the new wine will burst the skins, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins.” (Luke 5:36-38)
Guess you all understand that I’m not talking about bad memories at my parents’ place, but in my personal life. I did have some memories I had to totally delete, even from my email accounts, because I had to move forward, and be ready in the future for a brand new relationship which will flow into marriage.
Even before I met Mark, I made all efforts to erase my memories. At a point, God used my sister to remind me to even delete my email accounts, which was connected to my past relationship. I had some emails, which I hardly referred to, but I just found it hard to completely delete them. But I made that tough decision and just pushed myself to do it. Thanks to Toy and Pramod!
When we started courting, I used to still be a little stuck in my past. But later, I learnt to discover and love Mark for who he is. I taught myself that he does not have to resemble anyone else I ever idolised or considered perfect. Cos the truth is no one is perfect for anyone. A man and a woman have to make marriage work.
And I am so happy now, with no regrets – I am fully ready, emotionally, to step into this marriage!
Physically, also, moving out means moving out of the parents’ house. I think it is always best, as also advised by my girl friends at the Bachelorette party, to stay in a new house with your spouse, and move from your parents place. We are commanded to honour and love and take care of our parents, throughout our lives, but we are also commanded to leave our mother and father’s house, and a start a new life, with Christ as the head of the house.
I do understand in certain circumstances where it is unavoidable, we have to stay with them, but otherwise, it is also a commandment which deserves obedience.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” Gen 2:24
This commandment was given by God to Adam and Eve, and at that time, they had no parents! Guess that’s why they were happy cos no in-laws ha hah (this was Johny Lever’s joke at my sister’s reception – that they fought less cos they had no in-laws) However, it is obvious that it is meant as a standard for any happy marriage, given by God Himself.
Leave and Cleave! If you don’t leave, you can’t fully cleave!