Day 9: Here’s married women’s advise to the unmarried and to-be-married (yesterday)


What a party! I tried to match as much as I could to the retro 70s-style theme, and so decked up and landed at the party an hour late, only to be pleasantly surprised some walked in after me too. Sometimes, you’re so happy when people are late – just works for your benefit!  

So every girl in there was given a particular name of a star, and I, Miss-absent-minded had to call all of them by their new names, failing to do which, I had to do whatever was asked.

I was so excited that I didn’t need any game also to cheer me up – just seeing the ones who matter to you, come together, cutely dressed, taking out time, to be with you, and honor and dishonor you – I loved it!

All my bhaashan about honor of the bride-to-be fell on deaf ears, but I did give them a tough time, and was not easily ragged. My maid of honor, Preethima along with Pratima and Toy did a fabulous job in arranging the whole thing.

Really sorry, but for my own honor’s sake, which I raved about so much, I cannot disclose details of the party. All I can say is that it was awesome, and too much fun, and yes – I was also entertained, only at first, and later all the tables turned on me, and it was one against everyone.

In one particular game, which was like a rapid-fire answering thing, they kept shooting about which was our first date, which movie we saw first, and all the firsts – and for the life of me and my paadu memory, I could not remember. Not that it was not important to me, but that, really, for both of us, we just flowed and sailed smoothly. Yes, one question I did answer about our first date after we were committed to each other. And everyone laughed.

I said Taj Mahal. They were like ‘ Taj Mahal’ or ‘Taj Mahal hotel’. Of course, hotel. Kya hai!

Can you believe that?

When it was my turn to say Yes to Mark, I was in such a hurry, that it was morning hours, and I just told him I wanted to eat idly or something and we went to Secunderabad Taj. And there, after ordering, I took a tissue paper, and wrote – “Would you like to marry me cos its a YES?” I still remember the look on his face – he was so overjoyed, and within seconds his face dropped – cos as every guy would, he started to worry about finances. Later, he snapped out of it, and that was our best day ever. So what if it was in an idly-dosa place – ‘we’ mattered to ‘us.’

Mark was also thrilled because he knew I was praying all this while (almost a year), and I had kept many signs and confirmations asking for God’s approval. So he knew that – that Yes, was a yes from heaven also.

Well, coming back to the party. At the end of it, everyone said something – for me, like advise-types for my future. And my darling Archie had tears in her eyes — so cute, that’s why she is my jaan.

.. from the married and single ones:

  • Be willing to accommodate your husband’s interest more than yours. And of course, he is also expected to do the same. But you were single for a long time – so now its really no longer about you, but about him and you.
  • Never stop going on dates, even after marriage. Plan and make sure you go as often as possible.
  • Don’t ever carry tales from your in-laws  to your parents and vice versa.
  • If  anything uneasy or strife arises between his friends/family and you, YOU deal with it. Don’t expect him to mend all relations for you, from his side.
  • Learn to cook – and cook well. (they gave me some names of websites, I can’t recall except for Va chef)
  • Don’t hide anything from your husband. Don’t lie to him.
  • Be yourself. Don’t ever change, meaning, be joyful like this always – don’t let the worries of marriage and kids and responsibility snatch that away from you.
  • Stay glamorous, work out and stay lovely.
  • Nobody is perfect. There will definitely be some things you don’t like in Mark, and he in you. We come with our faults and weaknesses. But the Bible says Love covers a multitude of wrongs. So don’t magnify the weaknesses, and let it overwhelm you. (this was one of the best  by cousin Tina)
  • Once you have kids, don’t neglect your husband. Kids tend to become your world, don’t let that happen. Still, take out time for your husband and watch out for what he needs also.
  • First unwrap all your wedding gifts, and then go shopping.

And the last and one advise, all the ladies, in one voice, with full conviction:

  • Don’t have kids too soon. Wait for at least 1-2 years.
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