Hola! Wedding cards have arrived. Taher bhai did not give us haath, thank God. They look beautiful, thanks to my dearest friend Ashish for designing – and being so patient (you know how family keeps changing the same changes they asked for and approved)
Mamma and myself were super excited and thought we should rush to my eldest aunt’s house to give the first card. We thought we’d surprise them. Kept yapping in the car and when we reached Somajiguda, we realised we left the cards at home. Drove back, and by then it was too late. Flop show! (remember that show on DD – Flop Show?)
When a relationship transits from “nothing official about it” to “every official about it”, everything changes.
There was a time when people looked at Mark and me, and gave that constipated smile, and some did not look only (may be they were constipated ha ha ). The kind of unreal smiles you get when you start out in the considering-dating phase, and others wonder where you both are headed. They wanna ask, but they have no guts or they just like not to ask, or they are simply constipated. Lol.
And when they see you entering a party, or even church, together, heads turn, and looks get exchanged from one group to another, and they are blind to the fact that we are not blind.
So you get into the crowd, and some girls go “Oh so you came with Mark? He dropped you aah?”
And I just say ” Yes, yes,” and they’re still expecting me to elaborate, but I don’t. (If you are ser, I am sava ser)
Actually what they wanna ask is not one, but many questions : Did you guys go out somewhere and then come here? So you’re meeting often? How often? Should we expect to see both of you together in all parties?
The most ironical and funny part was this – Out of, say a 100 people, who discussed about us, only 5 would have actually asked us, out of love and concern what was actually going on – are we serious, etc. I deeply appreciate all those who asked me to my face. During these two years, we discovered who our true friends really are. And we so love them dearly, for standing by us and with us!
Once the relationship gets official, its funny how things change. Those who used to walk past you, acting as if they were on the phone, ignoring you to your face, now turn around, and do the courtesy talk “How are the preparations going on? All set huh?”
I can see a sea change in the way society treats you once your relationship is official.
Today, as we were sitting with our pastor, to run through the order of service outline, I couldn’t help but notice and ponder over these headings in the paper:
“Mark Kuldeep Singh and Maddela Shruthi Joy”
“Exhortation and Marriage Vows”
“Signing on Marriage Register”
“Presentation of the Couple”
It is not just the legal part of it. While the legalism gives you a now-no-one-can-mess-with-us freedom, the real joy only comes around when your families come together, to accept and honor the relationship. Many love-married couples go through the phase, where both the families or elders are still weighing pros and cons, still wanting to look out for other matches, and so on.
Today, I am even able to feel the excitement in the air because of my family, and Mark’s family, and our extended families who make this event happen, who join in with you, and rag you everytime you meet them, come out shopping with you, wait to bless you with gifts. Wonderful!
I hate to even think back about all the hard times we faced, because ‘now’ has swallowed up ‘then’. Really, no kidding. The joy is so much now, that the past is forgotten.
I now recall Sister Stubbs advise to me, to be patient and treat time as my friend and not an enemy. She encouraged and impressed upon me the importance of waiting for family’s approval. And it has been worth the wait.
Intezaar ka phal meetha hotha hai!
The dates for Sangeet and Nalugu have been planned. All the peddolu (elders) are going to compete with the chinnolu (younger) on Bollywood dance numbers! What eh fun I say.
Marriage is really a family time! And I’m loving it!