“Be the biggest star on your wedding day, and forever ” reads the last line of the editor’s note of Femina’s Brides’ issue.
I’ve heard it so many times during these days – “All eyes will be on you – look your best”, “Lose weight, everyone sees the bride”, ” you’re in focus, don’t screw up the make-up, be cheerful” …..
Sure! My day, my looks, my figure, my avatar, my behavior, the time-of-my-life, should be-the-perfect-day, and to do all the above, I am thoroughly pampered, given whatever I’m asked, and realllly made to feel so special.
On the wedding day also, I guess no one, even if they don’t like me, will ever try to belittle me, or pass any negative comment that would spoil my ‘bride’ look or ‘bride-mood’. Forget others, even me, myself, would want to be my best on that day. I’ve been preparing from a long time (lil’ late though) – exercise, healthy eating (don’t laugh), facials, clean-ups, and also preparing mentally and emotionally for the marriage: reading up, going for pre-marital counseling, talking fullto loving with my fiance..
That one day, I’m gonna feel extra-special – comes from within, and also from with-out. Everyone around me is gonna make that effort, and even I’m gonna make every effort to look and be at my best, to please my man, be joyful, and keep him smiling.
So what happens after the wedding day?
Just married: For the first few weeks, you dress up all ‘just-married’ types, and many treat you like that also. And after a month, people are like ‘Oh you’re looking lovely. You know she is getting married next month.Check out her glow’. And the hunt begins for the next bride-to-be to be looking like the-bride-to-be.
Just settled: Lunches and dinners at relatives’. Soon the list gets exhausted. You start concentrating on your home, groceries, ghar-ghar-ki-kahani begins.
Just a wife: Even before you realize, you slip into the wife’s role and the ‘special’ feeling diminishes. I’ve seen so many women – get so caught up in the ‘wife worries’ that they lose their bridal look, stop taking care of themselves:transit from lipstick to lipgloss to no-lip-balm, wear terrible night suits, and are not so excited any more, about the husband and about life.
I don’t totally blame the world around us. The husband? He of course has a part to play. But he may surely respond if the wife plays her part too. Will she still be at her attitude-best? Still talk lovingly to him, dress up for him, send him miss-you messages….
From a bride to a wife – I hope I can continue to feel special from the inside, whether or not the world treats me that way. I am special, cos I am made special. Even before I found a man, I was still special. Unless I feel good about myself, I have nothing to give.
“I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!”