Day 29 – Men in skirts!

Day 29 just got over, and I’m totally stressed out. Stressed out from driving, all day long, still hunting for that dress, that will catch my eye, and touch my heart.

Nothing touched me more than the efforts of very good salesmen (again). This time, it was worse. My polite-talking capability was totally tested, tried and fried. The humble, at-your-service, extreme-enthu guys donned on model-avatars!

Men in skirts! 
One guy would carefully take out the heavy ghagras from the packet, gently, but totally and gracefully throw the ‘fall’ towards us, along with the dust and chamki. Another guy just stood there, and suddenly, a third guy joins the drama, and they dress up this one man, in a ghagra, that I need to visualise myself in. I found it hard to visualise, cos a part of me wanted to laugh out loud. But this guy was so sincere.

I could not help but wonder. What if his kids or wife walked in and saw him, fully clad in this heavy ghagra, dutifully posing, for us to morph his face off it and place mine there, and see if we like it, on him, and then on me, visually, and then we say ok or not ok, and he is then carefully, gracefully, un-draped. Man, I found it so so hard to tell the models a NO. They had such puzzled expressions, for they never could understand why we did not like their ghagras.

Kindness – easy with strangers, and tough with loved ones. It was one quality that was stressed on repeatedly in my first pre-marital counseling session with my senior pastor. She lost her husband three years ago, but when she spoke of him, even now, I could see the spark in her eyes.

One incident she narrated that we (Mark and me) can never forget:

As our pastors were preparing to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the church, Sister (that’s what we call her) was still held up at church late night, while her husband (the senior pastor) went home early. Normally, he would wait for her and they would dine together always.

When she arrived home, very very late, she was apprehensive of what he would say.  Instead of cribbing, and complaining that he was famished and she was late, he gently said,  “Oh, you’re home…I missed you so much…”  She just forgot how tired she was, rushed to the kitchen and served dinner for both of them and they had an amazing time together talking about the day’s work.

That was their last dinner together at home. The very next night, at office, he passed away. And those were his last words – kind and loving. He was 66 years old, when he passsed away. They still had the spark.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you – Eph 4:32

(When she first read out this verse, it did not ‘sit’ in my memory. After I heard this story – it can never be erased from my memory.)


  1. I’m not sure, how many couples go for such counseling sessions. I’m glad you did. Definitely, pastor’s words are 100% true. I know many couple who lost the spark as the years go by. Thanks for sharing this, Joy!!!

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